What God taught me in Sudan...

“Lord, I want to experience you in new ways, I want to go deeper, I am all yours”

This was my prayer the months, weeks, days, and hours that led up to my trip to Malakal, Sudan.  I was serious I sincerely wanted God to do all off these things for me.  Isn’t it interesting that these prayers are a lot easier to pray than live?  How God would answer this prayer I would have never expected. 

It was already known that Sudan was not a stable place with the atrocities in Darful and the great political divide between the North and South.  The situation as it was never scared me as we were traveling over there because I knew that Darfur was many miles away from Malakal.  Still praying the same prayer, I was about to live it.

The night before we were going to go to Sudan we were staying in Nairobi, Kenya.  It was then that I learned that the ICC was going to press charges against president Omar Bashir for the genocide in Darfur.  Following that news, it was posted by the State department of that the traveling to Sudan for Americans was not advised and they had evacuated all except key personnel from the US embassy in Khartoum.   President Bashir vocalized that he would retaliate against aid workers in Sudan since they are the one’s that were suspected of providing the evidence to the ICC. 

All of a sudden I was faced with the face that I was going into a dangerous place and I could not control or arrange for some sort of comfort level.  Still after the team prayed through the night, God said,  “go”.  I was left only to depend on Him, which led to experiencing God in new ways and going deeper.

One thing that I was not prepared for was the utter lack of concern for the situation going on in their country.  It was not that they were not concerned for the well being of the people, but what struck me is that they were not concerned for themselves.  This bothered me for much of the beginning of my time there, how could they not be concerned that something bad might happen?  Was it that they are used to living in a war zone? Was it that they did not care if they lived or died?  Or was it that they were living out the true gospel?  The verse that kept coming to my mind while there was “for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” That was it, their faith seemed so simple yet so profound.  While many times our American faith sounds profound theirs you could actually feel. 

“To live is Christ, and to die is gain” This is how they lived, for them if they were going to go on living it meant a complete confidence in God for total provision.   Provision for both their physical needs but also a provision for them living out their God given place in this world.  And if they die, well then they go to heaven.  It is truly viewed as a win-win.  I think for most of us here in the US, the first part seems easy “to live is Christ” ok, that means that I need to live a Christ centered life here.  The part that we struggle with is “to die is gain” even though it says “to die is GAIN”  many of us don’t really believe this.  If we were really living the Gospel according to how it was written and the life that Jesus has called us to live  this second part would not scare us.  On the contrary and I am speaking for myself, we like to live out the Gospel according to the comfort level and standard of living that we think we deserve.  When I read the New Testament, Jesus never says you will have a great standard of living or some level of comfort.  He says things like, “you must die to yourself and follow me daily, and what you do for the least of them you do for Me” this is counter cultural for us, and we think that we are the most blessed Nation.  In many ways we are and I am both proud and consider myself very luck to be an American.  But I got to think that as right as we are on many things, we are getting farther and farther away from the most important, and that is, What is the life that God has called you to live?  It may or may not involved the big house, 2 cars, and 2.5 kids, but it should always reflect the true call that He has given us, and always bring Him glory.    

This is what God taught me in Sudan, while their living conditions are not good compared to American standards, I couldn’t help but be a little jealous in their complete confidence in God’s provision.